Friday, April 29, 2016


Yesterday Harry asked if he could take a picture of me feeding Ellis. I love this picture of me with my messy hair, Ellis in one of Harry's old outfits, and the sweet four-year-old who was behind the camera. 

I have to say that the best and hardest part of transitioning to having two has been with Harry.
He tenderly loves his baby brother and hasn't shown any signs of resenting Ellis or even really feeling jealous when I'm caring for one of his many newborn needs. He's been super helpful too.
And in the midst of loving his brother so much, Harry has also been struggling with his attitude. He often throws little fits (rude tone, foot stomping, etc.) when he's told "no" or doesn't get his way.  We have had to correct his behavior a lot since coming home from the hospital (or at least that's how if feels), and I'm honestly having a hard time with it. Of course we can't let him behave with rudeness and disrespect, but couple this with the extra reminders to "be careful around your brother" and "watch out for mommy's sore tummy" (and the other normal reminders you have to give a little kid when there is a tiny baby and a mom healing from surgery....) and it feels like that's all he's hearing all day long.

There have been many tears shed by both Harry and I in this process. Josh and I are trying to encourage and praise him often. We are also trying to include him in things like cooking meals, listening to music, watching movies together as a family, and even reading a chapter book (his first one (!) James and the Giant Peach). I'm reminding myself that we would be correcting Harry about his behavior even if Ellis weren't around; this is what parents's part of the job. And I'm a little over-sensitive right now with all the hormonal changes in experiencing physically. We've also been hugging it out more. Letting Harry know that our love for him isn't based on his behavior. That just like Jesus loves us all the time, no matter what...even when we sin...our love for Harry as his parents will never go away. ...and when the emotions feel overwhelming, I'm also giving myself permission to just go to sleep. Waking up from a nap, or in the morning, I feel a lot better. 

So that's where we are at. Head over heels in love with Ellis and savoring this short stage in the life of our family. We love watching Harry, who has truly been the apple of our eye for the past four years, grow into a brother. We are tired and a little emotional, at least Harry and I are ;). We are messing up, feeling frustrated, and giving/receiving forgiveness on a daily basis.

Mostly, we are thankful. The road to get here, to have two sons, hasn't been without pain and loss and grief. And here we are on the other side of it, so very thankful because each of the boys God has entrusted us to raise up are a gift and a blessing. As much as I look forward to the point where we have settled into our new normal, these growing pains are completely worth it because we get to be parents to these two boys. We are so very thankful!!!

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