Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Letter: 4 Years

Dear Harry,

Well it's already time to write you another letter. Tomorrow is your birthday!

I honestly cannot believe that my squishy, chunky baby is already a four-year-old. You really are a boy now, there's no denying it! And, surprisingly I'm more than okay with it. A couple of months ago I had a good cry about how fast you're growing up, and how I just want to freeze time and keep you at this stage forever. 

But the feelings were short-lived (and probably pregnancy-hormone-induced), and now that your birthday is actually here I am so excited.

Three was a fun year. So many wonderful memories were made!

Your vocabulary grew immensely, as did your personality. There were some hard moments for sure, but who doesn't have hard moments? I'm 30 and I have moments where I throw a grown-up version of your tantrums. In all honesty, you don't throw a ton of tantrums. You get moody sometimes. And there have been some moments this past year that you said/did some unkind things. But that's to be expected because you're human, and sinful, just like everyone else who has ever lived (myself and Daddy included). I think what I've enjoyed the most about this stage, and what I look forward to as you move into your "fours" is that I can talk to you about this hard moments through the lens of grace. When you sin against me, or I sin against you...we can acknowledge our brokenness, say we are sorry, and thank Jesus that through the blood He shed on the cross we are able to forgive and be forgiven - for every sin, no matter how big or how small.

You have a tender heart my boy. I thank God for the work He is doing to help you to repent quickly. Usually when scolded or put into time out, you say you are sorry quickly (and are very genuine about it). I pray that God will keep softening your heart in this way, so that you never lose this quality. It's such a good and healthy way to live life.

And you're still such a goof ball, maybe even more so the older you get! Your imagination runs wild with fast car races, airplane stunts, superhero missions, wild animal adventures, and more sound effects than I could have ever dreamed of!

After the bath one night you were pretty impressed with your "spike hair" and you were cracking yourself up being silly in front of the mirror. You had us all rolling, it was pretty funny!

You still love to lay on the ground to play. Whether it's cars, toy story toys, legos, you name's your favorite way to play!

Your love for Buzz Lightyear, and Toy Story in general remains strong! A friend of mine was at Disneyland and brought you back these personalized ears. Can't wait to get you back there so you can wear them...but for now they look pretty awesome with your Buzz Halloween costume! :)

If we'd let you, you would literally spend hours in the bathtub every day. My "mommy" tub has turned into toy central, but I love all the cars, planes, and action figures that clutter up my bathroom. I'll miss them someday when you're too grown up for playing in the bath!

You  L O V E  to be in your pajamas, or better yet just running around the house in your underwear. You can't tell from the picture, but it was snowing outside (just barely) and you stood for quite some time just watching in wonder. "It's going to snow forever and ever!" you kept saying. "Does this mean it's Christmas, TODAY?!" (it was still November at the time). 

One of your latest favorites is watching "space videos" with your Daddy. He wanted to be an astronaut when he was a little boy, and you may be following in his footsteps. I've caught you both deeply engrossed in youtube videos the planets. Sometimes, when Dad puts you to bed without me (usually on my Bible study nights) opt for space videos instead of stories.

I love how your mind is so curious to learn, and you soak up just about everything that you hear and see!

Apparently you weren't very into your rehearsals for the Christmas program at school, but your sure sang loud and proud on stage. We could hear your voice above all of your classmates. It was so cute to see you up there singing about the true meaning of Christmas!

You continue to be a little more on the cautious side than your peers. You warm up once you're comfortable with a situation and/or the people involved...but in some ways I'd even call you shy. You just like to hold back a bit when we first arrive somewhere, or try something new. As a baby I remember you being very observant - paying attention to everything going on around you, and I still see glimpses of that in you today. But once you're ready, you're all in!

I can imagine that as you turn four and move through this next year that you will only continue to grow into the little boy you're becoming. This time next year I wouldn't be surprised if you were reading - you're infatuated with letters, letter sounds, and trying to spell out words based on the sounds you hear. All of this makes this teacher's heart sing. I am just amazed at how smart your little brain is. You try to talk us into as many bedtime stories as possible - somehow we got into the habit of reading four (maybe because you've been loving the number four the closer we get to your birthday). We have to talk you down on the story count, otherwise bedtime stories last for an hour (or more). But we really love reading with you. I think it's a huge reason why you're so into letters and words. 

Well my sweet boy, when I write your next letter you will have a baby brother. You already love him so well (always talking to him and rubbing/smooching my belly), but I'm sure it'll be a whole different thing once he's born. You've been a little clingy lately, wanting me more than anyone, and even calling us "mama" and "dada" in kind of a baby-talk voice (which you've never really done). I think that you're a little nervous about the big change of us having another baby, even though you're so excited at the same time.

I can't promise there won't be hard moments. Adjusting to change is always a challenge...and one that you can't fully anticipate/understand until you're in it. But I can promise that your daddy and I will never stop loving you. Just because things will change and our attention will be shared between you and your little brother...doesn't mean we'll love you any less. All of our hearts will just have to stretch a little and make room for Ellis. I'm not sure exactly how that happens, but everyone I know with more than one child says that it does. So we'll just keep moving forward and figure this whole thing out as we go. Needless to say, four is going to be an epic year for you Harry. You're going to become a brother (!), go on an amazing trip to Hawaii, and start your final year of preschool before Kindergarten.

Love you more than I have words to say!

Love always,

Your Mama 

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