Monday, June 6, 2016

Letter :: Ellis :: Month One

Dear Ellis,                             
I cannot believe it’s already time to sit down and write your one-month letter. It’s crazy how fast time goes with a newborn (and yet the days feel so long and tiring).

I have to say that as far as newborns go, I think we have it made with you. You’re such a laid back baby. You rarely cry/fuss and if you do it’s usually because a) you’re hungry b) you need to be burped or changed or c) you’re hungry…speaking of which, you’ve already grown to a whopping 10 lbs. 11 oz. and you’re only 1 month old! Seems like you are going to follow in your brother’s footsteps (he was a SUPER chunky baby)!

Let’s see, where do I start?
Well, first of all your big brother  a d o r e s  you. He smooches on you constantly! When you had pink eye last week it was torture for Harry to withhold his kisses on your face to keep him from getting an infection. He made up for it by kissing your hands, arms, feet, tummy, etc. The point is that your dad and I have quickly fallen in Harry’s eyes to be replaced by you as his number one favorite person alive. We’re more than okay with it.

You are a snuggler and don’t mind being held by all of your adoring fans (aka: grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends). You’re starting to look around a lot more and have even given us a couple of real smiles and coos in the past couple of days. Every time I’m tempted to despair because my tiny newborn is disappearing, I remind myself that the best is yet to come. Every day, week, and month in the coming year will bring us more joy as we watch your personality develop and grow.
You love to sleep on your back with your arms above your head, hands clenched in little fists.
You have long fingers and toes (just like I did when I was born).

Your hair is a little darker than I remember Harrys’ being, and you were born with a ruddy red complexion that has toned down some, but is not as fair as your brother…I’m so curious to see if you end up being a blondie like him or if you’ll take after me with darker hair/features. One thing is for certain – you have the same nose as your brother and I am pretty sure that you’ll end up with gorgeous big blue eyes like him too (although I wouldn’t mind if you took after your dad with his hazel eyes).
All of these little details are precious to me. I’m storing them up in my heart to cherish years from now when you’re all grown up and my nest is empty. But the most important thing I want to tell you is how much of an answer to prayer you are. The past couple of years have been hard on your dad and I. We conceived and lost two babies that we longed for and grieved over. It was the hardest thing for this mama to go through and as a family we ached to see Harry become a big brother. We trusted God’s goodness and His plans for us, but the hurt was almost unbearable at times.

And then, along came you. Throughout your pregnancy I felt a lot of peace, but I also held your life in open hands. If I learned anything from the miscarriages we suffered through, it is that know life is truly a miracle but not a guarantee. We prayed. So many people prayed. And we hoped beyond all hope that God would keep you safe so that you could join our family here on earth; thankfully that’s exactly what He did.
You aren’t a replacement for the babies we lost. You are you, Ellis Gideon Matt. I love your brother Harry, the two babies who are in heaven with Jesus, and I love you. Oh how much I love my children, each and every one! When I look at your precious face and perfectly formed body I am in awe at the unique and one-of-a-kind gift that you are. God knew that you would be the baby that would expand our family and I am so thankful that I don’t have words to express it.

All the days of my life I will thank God for the gift of welcoming you into the world and the honor of being your mom. Thank you sweet boy for filling our hearts with J O Y.
I love you today and always, more than words can say.
Love always,

Your Mama

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