10 on 10 :: November 2014

Pumpkins Galore!

This year we had the treat of going to the pumpkin patch with my family from Montana. It's my dad's brother Rick, his wife Val and their adorable daughter Emma!  Our friends from church (the Daker family) came as well, with their two daughters!

These pictures speak for themselves. I think it's pretty clear we had a wonderful time at the pumpkin patch this year!

Family Photo Op ;)

My mom and grandma!

Cousin Emma and Harry! So cute!!!

Cheese...also photobomb by Josh :)

So dorky! :)

Uncle Rick, Grandma, Mom, Dad + Me

I made Emma pose for this one.

The bubble station is always Harry's favorite!

Going for a ride!

Trying to be a big boy helping cousin Emma out!

Grandma, Me, Mom + Aunt Valerie

Checking out the bunnies with his Grandma!

He was a little nervous about the goat, lol!

These pics made me want to get a kitten. SO STINKIN' CUTE!

This is the best family photo we got that day. 

Josh looks handsome, Harry looks silly...and I just look weird

"Is this a good one mom?"

Also...he apparently didn't like getting his hands dirty.

This one cracks me up! Harry was trying to show off I think...and Carlee

Carlee, Harry + Emma

This may be my favorite! I'm honestly shocked that Harry wasn't picking his nose too ;)

Grandma + Harry were working hard to get our pumpkins up to the check-out stand.

It took many tries to get a "good" picture of Harry at the measuring stick. But I was bound and determined to get a picture from this year to compare with last year's picture!!!

I am totally that mom!

This was the "best" I could manage...

But totally worth seeing how much he's grown in the last year! INCREDIBLE!!!

Fall Favorites I Can't Bear to Forget!!!

Being silly on a family-dinner-date to Chipotle! YUM!

Heading off to my TEN YEAR REUNION with Josh! I'm We're getting old ;)

Harry and I have been memorizing the verse that says "The Heaven's declare the GLORY of God!" 

Evidenced in this picture!!!

A friend of mine from High School has been making and selling these gorgeous necklaces online. I now own two! #imayhaveaproblem

We cheered Daddy on at his first weightlifting competition in a LONG time! Way to Go DAD!!

Harry even got to wear the medal! :)

Me: "Harry, smile for the camera" (practicing for picture day at school).

This was what I got! HAHAHAHAHA!

Thankfully his actual picture was ADORABLE! :)

High five, to the side, down low...too slow Joe! #harrysfavoritegame

Snoozing in his big boy bed! Seriously, my favorite sight these days!

I am that mom that made him dress up according to the theme of a friend's birthday party. Well, close...it was a Minnie Mouse party...so he was my sweet little Mickey!

...and just for fun. FLASHBACK to Harry's fattest stage in life. 6 months old and 25 pounds :) :) :)

Learning and Growing: One. Day. At. A. Time.

Well it's been another month since my last post and here I am. Finally sitting down to do some reflection on the blog.

I miss this space.



I'm also overwhelmed by it.

I've always longed to make my blog something more. This sounds so dorky to admit, but I want to be a "real blogger" (aka: post "pinterest-worthy" tutorials, offer free printables, design prints that I sell in a successful Etsy shop, inspire my loyal following on a daily basis...you get the picture).

The thing is that I can barely manage my life as it is.

Working as a teacher (sure I get lots of breaks, but I make up for it during the school year by working many extra hours) and being a wife/mom (+ daugher/sister/friend/etc) is hard to balance.

I have these creative ideas, but rarely do I have (or make) the time to bring them to life.

Plus I've been grieving pretty hardcore this fall. Many ugly-cry sessions have gone down (mostly on Josh's t-shirts). In the midst of the pain, there has been a lot of joy as well...but in general it's been a hard season!

And then...I started reading this book that completely wrecked me.

Let's be honest...it's still wrecking me.

It's called Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker (click here to check out her website) and it's the kind of book that turns everything you thought you knew on its head and forces you to completely reexamine your life. I'm still processing all of it, but I am hopeful that after reading this book I will not remain the same.

I wish I could try to summarize how this book has changed my heart, but I'm just not quite ready. It's all still settling in my soul. Once I can put it together in an articulate way, my goal is to post more here.

I will say that through the process of reading this book, and studying it with a group of women from my church, I have realized how incredibly rich I am (duh!). And with that realization, I am pretty certain that Jesus wants me to live a life that is the opposite of the American Dream.

So I'm kind of stuck in a weird place where I'm certain that I want to welcome this change. I want my life and how I live it to mean more than just bettering myself and my circumstances. I can't sit back and ignore the needs of the people in my community any longer. But I still don't know exactly what this looks like. So I'm wrestling with a few different ideas and I am excited to see where God leads me. More on this later...

...in the meantime my goal is to get around to posting some photo updates from this fall. We have made fun memories, laughed, and enjoyed God's grace in addition to all the grieving. I figure now is as good a time as any to catch you all up on some TONS of the good that's been happening around here.

The Dust is Still Settling

I sat down to write a post and share from my heart how I am feeling one month after losing our baby.  Then I read through my last post and am sitting at my desk in a puddle of tears. Who am I kidding? I'm a mess at some point on most days.

September 10th was the day I lost our baby.

This month, I had the 10th off from work and decided to spend some time with my brother.

It was a foggy, quiet day. My heart was heavy with grief and yet I was excited at the same time. Excited to have some quality time with my brother and catch up about how he is enjoying SPU (my alma mater). It was a huge blessing to hear about how God is working in his life, to enjoy delicious coffee together, and pray.

I meant to post these photos for my monthly 10 on 10 set, but I only managed to shoot 7 photos that day.

So here goes. 

My first blogpost since that day. 

I wanted to express the depth of my pain, grief, and the abiding hope I have experienced in the last month, but this is all I've got today. In fact, all I seem to be able to do lately is make it through the day.

One. Day. At. A. Time.

Literally.

You can ask my husband. Most days when he walks in the door after work I melt and snot/cry all over his shirt. I don't know what else to do. I am continuing on with my life. Pouring myself into teaching and wife/motherhood. I read God's Word, pray, and have never felt closer to Jesus than I do in this season. Yet I am still so sad. It's such a weird tension. I have the greatest hope in Christ, and it gives me peace that surpasses my understanding. And I am still sad, and cry more often than I'd like to admit.

I miss my baby; I'm beginning to realize that I always will.